seasons end

my bags are packed and i'm sitting on the couch.

i'm constantly smelling and trying to embed this scent into my memory, because scents take me back like no other. the things that remind me most of life over here is the smell of toast and this horrible cheap orange flavored dishwashing liquid someone decided was a bargain last term. less of a bargain and more of the nastiest smelling thing to wash plates with ever created. i used a lot of paper plates on the orange flavored dishwashing liquid phase.

it's been just a little over one year that i made the trek over here. and i leave tomorrow at 2:40PM. looking back, there's a lot i've realized and a lot of lessons i have learned but if i'm honest, i also believe i am more mixed up about what i believe than when i came. however, i am firm in the knowledge that Jesus is my center and spiritual disciplines have been set forth. when i talk about being mixed up about what i believe, i am not referring to whether Jesus is the risen Savior, because he is, i am more referring to the actual meanings of Jesus' teachings about frugal living, and loving the least of these and putting them before yourself. i believe this "mix-up" i am in is exactly where God wants me. i came here completely comfortable about my walk, and i'm leaving completely uncomfortable, but strong in the Grace. i'm very glad i'm uncomfortable, because it is growing me and it is challenging me to search for truth and to seek after the face of Grace.

listening to preachers preach prosperity from the platform at Hillsong Church and reading books outlining the controversy of the Sermon on the Mount at the same time is bound for some kind of mix-up. this is not confusion, it is a matter of discovery. and i have begin to taste Jesus in an unbelievable way. the ability to look from outside of America at industrialized, and overproduced Christianity has expanded my view. i've seen devotion from all around the world and i am no longer a bigoted American teenager who thinks "God Bless America" but a cultured-almostnotteengageranymore has turned that in to... "God have Mercy on America's ways" and "God Bless the least of the these, and if possible use me to do it." in the past year, i have begin to learn to denounce the sword, and pick up a plowshare. and begin harvesting God's love across this lost and broken world.

this journey has done numbers in me. i've met life-long friends and made everlasting memories, both of which i am grateful. these past two weeks with Savannah have been phenomenal as well. we have had a blast and it's been a great end to this season of my life. next season, here i come.



i came here thinking Christianity was easy.
i'm leaving knowing it's twice as hard as i thought.

i came here thinking Jesus was a feel-good guy.
i'm leaving knowing that he turned the entire world upside down.

i came here thinking God was in a book, and ideal, and movement.
i'm leaving knowing that he is in everything i touch. smell. hear. taste. see.

i came here thinking worship was just an emotional experience.
i'm leaving knowing that worship without production is a devotional discipline.

i came here sad about the least of these.
i'm leaving with something to do about it.

i came here with dreams and visions.
i'm leaving to do something about them.


australia, goodbye.
home, i'll see you soon.