AHHHH.

i would like to totally admit something to everyone. 

i just found out that i may be deathly afraid of something...

so i'm sitting at my computer. and i hear something to my right. and out of the corner of my eye I see this black figure scurry across and under my bed. i'll be honest with you, my head yelped an obscenity but all my mouth could do was yelp like a girl. i'm 99% sure it was a rat/mouse. and i'm honestly so squeamish at this point, that every time I feel the slightest itch on my body I gasp and make swift movements while my stomach drops it like its hot. i have no clue what i'm going to  do and i feel like the biggest pansy. i'm definitely not going to search under my bed for the bad boy. or girl. because i know if i see it scurry again i'll flip. 

i have no clue how it could have gotten in here... i have no holes anywhere. but, the way this house was built it wouldn't surprise me. cheapest built place i've ever been in. and while i'm on it. why the hell is there no insulation in Australia? i'm sitting here shaking! half because i'm petrified of an animal 1/20 of my size, and half because i'm freezing! 

and i also keep doing this thing where i act like i'm going to be really brave and save the day and i lean over (with no commitment of actually looking hard to find anything) and begin whistling for the little mongrel to come from under the bed as if it magically turned into Fido. and if it came out what am i going to do, ask it to roll over or tell it to sit? no! i'm going to yelp once again. but don't rats carry diseases? yeah like the Bubonic Plague and stuff. so there, that's my reasoning for being a completely little girl about a rat scurrying around in my un-insulated, poop-built, rat-germ plagued room. 

this reminds me of the time my Dad went on a rodent mass murder spree with a broom, cornering entire families of rats in various corners of our house on Lynn Court. while i cried because he was killing them and mom and savannah engaged in a series of high-pitch yelps much similar to what has just occurred here. looks like i have always been a little girl when it came to them. 

i am not proud of myself. not a bit. i am not proud that i act like a girl and am afraid of rats.

i will NEVER be able to fall asleep in here...